As Asians we sometimes chase ourselves to act “white" while other times we act “FOBby" and dare anyone to call us on it. IYKYK.

Are we trying to be who we are or what others want us to be?

Julia Lee is a Korean American writer, scholar, teacher, and Loyola Marymount University professor of Black and Asian American literature.

Her memoir Biting the Hand: Growing Up Asian in Black and White America challenges “all the stereotypes into which she has been forced: woman, Korean, American, conformist, and rebel".

Many days, we're all of the above.

Almost always, when we conform we aim for whiteness, but why? Turns out we don't really care to be White. We just want to be treated like Whites.

We want to be treated with all the privileges the system provides, which is really good if you're White. If you're not, it's a system that comes with other expectations.

For Asians, we're the Model Minority. We're prosperous, obedient, and hardworking. We don't experience racial discrimination and we don't make any noise. If everyone else worked as hard as we do and kept their head down, they too can succeed.

Except, it's not true. Asians (and any other minority) who can't meet the assigned expectations think the problem is them, not the system. But the system isn't designed for them. Those who make it do so despite the system, not because of the system.

So if you've made it, be open to biting the hand that got you there, to rock the boat for the right reasons. Don't preserve the system that works for a few, change it to work for many.

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