“What is a mother tongue and how do you get one? What if your mother has no tongue? What if you have no mother?”

Are these even legit questions? How can this be? Turns out, yes and absolutely it can.

Sara Nović is a queer writer, mother, and deaf rights activist. Born to hearing parents, they began to lose their hearing as a teen. Now a parent herself, their memoir Mother Tongue is a timely read as Disability Pride Month comes to a close.

Sara's story is about growing up in two worlds as a late-deafened person, a hearing world and a deaf world. They spoke as a child and signed as an adult in American Sign Language (ASL). Their mother tongue came from their hearing parents, in America, in English.

Today, they're raising two boys, one biological and hearing, the other adopted and hearing. What's their mother tongue going to be?

Here's where I learned something about language and deafness. It's more than the ability to hear. It's about being able to detect (did you hear it?), identify (was that a voice or a beep?), discriminate (did he say hot? pot? got?) and comprehend (don't touch – it's hot!).

In short, “overcoming deafness" (quotes intentional) is more than improving someone's ability to hear, such as with hearing aids and cochlear implants. It's also language skills + access to education + culture development + community belonging + universal human rights and more.

So when your mother tongue influences who you are beyond what language you use, Sara's story is also about the world their two boys are growing up in, and fighting to protect their rights and the rights of all people living with disabilities.

“Have you heard?” is our way of sharing another point of view on commonly held beliefs. Through this we hope to encourage curiosity, dialogue, and tolerance of diverse ideas.