“I kept her hand in mine and softly wailed. No matter how contentious our relationship, no matter the resentment I carried, this was my mother. My creator. I will never stop mourning the loss of her.”

And so in “Why Didn't You Tell Me" by Carmen Rita Wong a memoir tells of growing up in 1970s America, where immigrants hold on to secrets for survival, and for the American dream.

Mom was Guadalupe “Lupe" Altagracia, an Afro-Latina immigrant from the Dominican Republic. At nineteen she marries thirty-four year old Peter Ting Litt “Papi" Wong, Taiwanese born, merchant marine deserter, hustler about town and wannabe Asian Johnny Cash. Carmen and her older brother spend their first few years in Morningside Heights in New York City.

Over time the marriage breaks. Stepdad Marty enters, Italian-American and an upgrade into whiteness. The family moves to New Hampshire, where for Carmen “cosplaying New England white girl wasn't only about survival. (She) wanted all the advantages they had in the world".

Life in this blended Dominican-Chinese-American family is full of moving parts, people, complications and disappointments. But the biggest surprise comes after Lupe passes. Carmen, now an adult, finds her Mom's secret, and it changes everything about who she thought she was and who she really is. 

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